Art Religion Philosophy Science

How To Become A Successful Autistic Person In 10 Steps

1. Pretend you don't care - you'll start becoming ignorant. That's ok, you don't wanna waste your energy outside your limited area of interest.

2. Never ever talk, unless you're on facebook.

3. Don't smile! Only communists smile. You'll have to be grave all the time, otherwise people will think you're happy and they'll envy you for nothing. You'll find comfort in your own thoughts.

4. Don't work. It's tiring. I work all the time and it's embarrassing. You have to stop working.

5. Don't think. It's boring.

6. Don't change your mind. You have to act like a robot. People need you to be stable. If you change your mind, nobody will trust you: everyone will think you're crazy.

7. Be arrogant. Yes, arrogance means self-appreciation.

8. Blame Government for everything and do nothing: it's the easiest way to excuse yourself for being a worm that people don't care about.

9. Try and be something. I don't know what, something. A couch potato, for instance.

10. Refuse friendship. That's right, you don't need friends. You need neurosis and autism.